二十二年
忍耐的盡頭在哪裡
我想說，可是真的可以說嗎？
事情已經這麼多
說了會不會更複雜
我開始不懂母女關係意謂著什麼
以前的日子
我都靠著總有一天要逃走來支撐我
即使是短暫的逃離也好
所以我故意不努力
去台中的學校
可是人不能等待
我不想要後悔
所以回來台北
我只是想和阿嬤在一起而已
可是真的有意義嗎……
我以為不管重來幾次都不會後悔
但是我真的後悔了
我應該要很努力才對
才有力量逃走……
我知道大家也在忍耐
我知道事情很多
但是你們每次只忍耐一天、三天、一個禮拜、幾個月
毫不間斷的二十二年
我真的不行了
我連發燒的時候
都得面對這些到底是為什麼
為什麼過年燒了三天連想休息都不可以
明明發生了這麼多
可是我不能說不能說不能說…………
到底是為什麼
我的人生算什麼
290 comments:
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